protect your hot pockets and trust no one

    Remember middle school?

    For your sake I hope you don’t, but it’s probably burned onto your amygdala like permanent marker on a whiteboard.

    What a truly awful time middle school was. I mean, did I even learn anything?!

    Well I CERTAINLY DIDN’T LEARN GEOGRAPHY, I can tell you that much. (Still not sure exactly where all the weird middle states are?)

    Actually, I could only come up with two things I learned in middle school:

    1. In 7th grade I brought a pizza Hot Pocket for lunch. Once the microwave dinged and I bit into my glorious cheesy masterpiece, my tastebuds screamed in agony FOR IT WAS NOT A PIZZA HOT POCKET I WAS BITING INTO. IT WAS A BROCCOLI LEAN POCKET. With some investigation skills courtesy of Harriet The Spy, I discovered James B. swiped my pizza Hot Pocket and instead of being like, “hey I accidentally grabbed your pizza Hot Pocket,” he ate it and left me with his offensive broccoli Lean Pocket. Lesson learned: protect your Hot Pockets and trust no one.

    2. School pictures. Need I say more? Lesson learned: it’s super rude that Jostens doesn’t spot correct zits.

    Honestly, I think what middle school really taught us is simply that the middle part sucks. But we have to go through the sucky middle part to learn lessons that will prepare us for the good stuff. And then there will be another glorious beginning, another sucky middle, and more good stuff that follows.

    And then we die.

    HAHAH sorry, I couldn’t help it. (But am I wrong, though?!)

    Arriving at the destination is awesome, but most of life is spent on the journey; the sucky middle. Fumbling our way through learning a new skill, the moment we realize the person we’re dating isn’t perfect, growing a bad haircut out, getting in shape, forcing ourselves to write a third, fourth, fifth draft (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, THIS EXACT BLOG POST.).

    This pandemic quarantine is the suckiest of middles. But unlike middle school, with no end date in sight, we can’t exactly count down the days until we’re out. We’re forced to let go of the future. We’re stuck in the present (stuck is such a funny word to use – aren’t we always “stuck” in the present?).

    So what do you want to do, right now, today? How can you make the world better today? How can you make yourself fulfilled today? How can you add some happiness to someone’s life today? What will benefit not future you, but present you?

    I’m not trying to talk you into being productive during a pandemic. You already know you don’t need to do that. This isn’t about using your time wisely, it’s about seizing the only time you ever really have.

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    April 21, 2020



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